Today, I thought of providing a glimps of what could happen when we let go and allow. Or let go with the power of forgiveness.
This is a recent weekend’s event to awakening the Love within.
A few months back, I was spending the weekend with my son Jason, who’s soon to be 18 and having some school “issues”. He spends two weeks, every two weeks, along with his sister, with his dad. I had found out he had lied to us regarding applying on time to college. At that time, I had immediately suggested that he spend the weekend with me in order to try and get the bottom of his “forgetting or lying” about applying to college. My intention – if anything was to happen – would be to leave him with a knowing that he was truly loved. (keep this in mind)
Our first night wsa that of getting to the bottom of what he truly wanted in life – what tickled his fancy, what made his soul sing. We went from police officer to games developper – how’s that for soul searching?! Our Friday night was also filled with me describbing my life examples so he would see how the law of attraction works and how he could very well use it to his advantage. (normal parent talk – nothing too heavy to avoid losing the audience!)
He worked really hard in finding his deepest desires. So, we decided to call it a night around 11 pm. Before heading off to bed however, I expressed my gratitude for him being there with me and with a hug I also let him know that we had snow shoveling to do the next day – before tackling the college application.
The next morning, and before opening my bedroom blind – I lovingly expressed; “The Universe is good to me!” – and opened up to the day seeing that my wonderful neighbour had snow plowed almost 2 feet off my 75 foot driveway!! Hurray, I yelled to my son downstairs – we have a free morning! Look at what we were gifted with!!
As Jason was in the shower, I did my Qi-Gong and blessed this new day with him.
Once my mindfullness “dance” was completed, the thought of doing something special for Jason came to mind, he had worked so hard the previous evening. So, I asked him if he wanted to check for a movies…a funny one before he went to his McD job at 5 p.m. He couldn’t find one that showed at the times we wanted, so I suggested going to Chapters. That favorite place he had always wanted to go to with only Mom….sitting on those comfy couches….reading. YES – Chapters it is, Mom!
As we enter Chapters, Jason goes towards the fantacy section, and I “feel” my way around the store. On a table, I see this new book – maybe 150 pages called Five Wishes by Gay Hendricks…I only picked it up because of the person who wrote the intro, Neale Donald Walsch (Conversations with God). The book is about how a conversation changed the author<s life around – pretend you are on your death bed and you contemplate on what you wished you had done in your life (5 total), then turn those death bed wishes into an actual present day wish – of what you’d want now….and commit to it.
Now, that’s down my line of thinking, I had actually told the girls at work, the day before, that I did not have anymore time to waste…complaint free to me was my true ticket to happiness…and this was toward the quote I live by “Be the Change you wish to see in this world“.
So, Jason and I are sitting next to each other, him on a comfy chair and I on the window sill. We are having good conversation regarding the book he’s reading. As I continue reading 5 wishes, the author’s first wish was that of finding a loving relationship, one in which he could grow with a woman…that’s on page 37…the minute I read that paragraph where he’s asking his girlfriend if she wants to commit – I get this thought, “Buy this book for Colette” (my ex’s girlfriend). My way of making decisions now is if it feels good, I do it – that felt pretty good. If I have a hesitation – doubt, I don’t do it, and when I listen, this has never failed me.
I immediately pick up my stuff and tell Jason that I’m going to buy another book. There’s only one left where I had found mine, and as I pick it up, I thought of buying a card of Thanks.
…This is where the miracle happened….while I’m trying to choose a card, I’m also thinking about how my ex’s girlfriend means to my family, how she cares for both Jason and his sister Danika. How she’s “enduring” my X’s behaviour. This girlfriend who shares her life with my X, confided to me in Sept, that her relationship was basically similar to what I had gone thru during my marriage, but she also stated that she would stick around for a while because she really loves my kids (you can imagine how I felt about that!!) and she will try her best to make the relationship work.
Well, I was just moved to tears thinking about how grateful I felt towards her. Moved to love, releasing my anger – for all – including anger I had still left over from my childhood upbringing stuff!!!!! These tears of relief, continued while bying the book (I was in my own world of glory – no care in what others were thinking on that one!) and this continued for the whole 30 min ride home.
When I got home (Jason is at work) – I immediately wrote Colette a letter – 3 pages long, which took about 1 hour. The words flowed with ease, of asking forgiveness in my being angry towards her (I had never expressed anger towards her, we are actually friends). I also expressed how buying the book had released this negative emotion. And how I was grateful that she had also followed her inspired thought when she fell in love with my ex-husband while he was still married. (This expression alone convinced me that we should always follow our inspired thoughts).
I was healing throughout my writing and re-reading this forgiveness letter.
…then a miracle happened again – as I wrote a note inside her new book, I found the title to the book I’m presently writing, Love heals the skins of our lives. I don’t know yet if the publisher will agree, but it’s about healing or peeling those onion skins, those surpressed negative emotions (my life’s work). And this quote also came to light; We can never get it done, we can only live each moment towards what is most important. I understood right there, about how living each moment was what truly makes the dayly miracles happen. It was thru forgiveness that I finally realized this most powerful wisdom. A major Ah! Ah! moment indeed.
My day is not over, as I’m in bed, I pick up 5 wishes book again. I had stopped reading after page 37. What I was feeling then was only pure love…hard to discribe….I actually felt lighter.
But that’s not all, those 5 wishes that the author had chosen for himself (it is personal wishes he suggests you create), I have actually completed 4 of them, including the one about the letter I wrote to my ex’s girlfriend. My mind was totally blown by this connection!!
My final thoughts on our amazing enlightning weekend:
The intention of that weekend was that if anything, Jason will know he is loved, what actually happened was not only that – but I felt true love, from none other than the Universe who keeps being good to me!
If Jason would have applied on time to college, we would never have spent the weekend together. We would never have gone to Chapters, I would never have picked up that book, the one that has changed my life – completely around – getting connected to my deepest negative emotion. Getting connected to the power of forgiveness. Connected to pure love! and letting it flow without hesitation to my ex’s girlfriend. AND Jason, he would have applied on time to a course he later might have regretted!!
Forgiveness – led to a release of a blocked energy, that of anger. I can actually let Love flow now from within – this energy is now free to all I come in contact with.
May your days be filled with moments of magic!
Love & Peace…is an inside job. This I know for sure!
